Home Improvement
by Silvershadowfire
Summary: Words of wisdom for the agees - never leave a yami home alone with a credit card. Semi-sequel to Atem Goes Mallcrawling. (Complete)
1. Drip

Words of wisdom for the ages - never leave a yami home alone…with a credit card.

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Home Improvement

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Atem shifted on the couch in the quiet of the Kame Game Shop. The only sounds to interrupt his solitude were the muted beeps and music from the video game on the TV.

Drip.

And that Ra-damned drip.

Atem tried to ignore it, concentrating on his game. He had made his way to the boss, the final stage, and he needed to focus.

Drip.

Yugi and his grandfather were both away on a short trip - only a week - with the school. Since Atem wasn't registered as a student, and didn't look old enough to be a chaperone, he'd had to stay home.

Drip.

He could almost hear the water leaving the tap and falling through the air before hitting with an echoing thunk. Although his eyes were glued to the screen, the more he tried to focus his attention away from it, the more the drip made itself known.

Finally, he had his enemy right where he wanted him. One more hit…

**_Drip._**

Atem swore in three languages as he missed his strike. A bevy of curses in Ancient Egyptian followed him through the living room and into the kitchen. He was going to send that accursed tap into the shadows.

Then he remembered what Yugi had said about banishing household objects after he'd blasted the microwave. He'd had no idea Yugi could shout that loud.

He growled under his breath, watching the maddening thing. He couldn't banish it, and no matter how much he pulled on the lever, it refused to stop.

The only option left was to fix it.

After several attempts at fixing it - including the use of 'duct tape' - had failed, Atem headed out with the credit card Solomon had left him. Yugi had once mentioned a place called a 'hardware store' where one could get the right supplies to fix things. The Pharaoh only hoped that they would know how to fix a faucet - or he _would_ send it to the Shadow Realm, and be damned the consequences.

He found the store without too much of a problem, but inside…it was HUGE! Atem walked through the place slowly, just absorbing the literally thousands of tools available. He had never been involved in building in his past life, of course, though he'd been trained in math and architecture. But he was pretty sure these modern devices were a little more complicated than a hammer and awl.

A clerk came up and asked him if he wanted help; Atem asked for directions to the plumbing department. On route, he ran across something else interesting.

A collection of books on home repair. He pulled one out and flipped through it. The pictures were quite informative, the instructions clear and concise. Yes, he should be able to work with these…

Books in hand, Atem wandered the plumbing aisle, picking up everything he needed to fix the sink. And a few other things that caught his eye a long the way. After all, they should certainly be useful for something.

Atem stared at the malfunctioning appliance in disgust, then at the new faucet set he had picked up. Taking it apart seemed like such a bloody waste of time… He smiled. There was a faster way.

Reaching under the sink, he turned off the water supply. Then he called his Shadow magic and blasted the faucet into nothingness.

Much better.

Three hours and two more trips to the hardware store for tools later, Atem looked proudly at the fruits of his handiwork. The water poured nicely from the faucet, and when he turned it off, it was blessedly free of drips.

Wiping grease and silicone from his hands, Atem looked speculatively around him. Come to think of it, there were a few other things that need to be fixed at the shop - a few improvements that could be made. Yugi and Grandpa would be happy to find them repaired when they returned from their trip, right?

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Hehehe. This was supposed to be a one-shot idea, but its turned into a multi-chapter - probably three. Please read and let me know what you think! I do take any ideas you might have for 'improving' the Kame Game shop.


	2. Never Do Anything Halfway

Hey, reviews already! Whoo-hoo!

Answers for my lovely reviewers:

Arrathr: Thanks for the floorboard idea - I hadn't thought of that yet. And he's gonna paint more than the house.

Neonicole: Glad you liked it. Here's the next chapter for you!

Dragonlady: I have no idea how much this stuff costs in Japan…but he's gonna be spending more this chapter. I would hate to see the look on Jii-chan's face when he sees the bill…

The sink had a damaged washer in it, so that it leaked through the tap. Used to be an easy repair, but so many faucets are sealed units nowadays.

Daisaigai697832: Your wish is my command… ;)

BTW, I got my description of the living room from a shot in the first episode of the Virtual World anime storyline (the first one). It is REALLY plain.

Forgot it last chapter, so Yami SSF, would you do the honours?

Yami SSF: Fine. Silvershadowfire does not own Atem or YuGiOh, or any characters used in this story except the poor staff at the hardware store, okay?

Thanks. Now on with the chaos…I mean, the story!

Note: When Atem is talking to the Duelmonsters, he uses Ancient Egyptian.

****

Home Improvement

Chapter 2 - Never Do Anything Halfway

The next morning, Atem was at the hardware store bright and early. He'd spent his evening reading his new books and planning. Now he had three separate lists, all quite long.

He looked at his list of things to do.

1) Fix squeaky floorboards in hallway and stairs

2) Replace carpets. (He'd read somewhere that carpets could harbour toxic substances - he didn't want to expose his aibou to anything like that, so they had to go.)

3) Replace flooring in kitchen. (Marble might be nice…)

4) Redecorate living room. (The place was dull and boring. Surely Jii-chan would appreciate a little more colour in there.)

5) Renovate bathroom.

6) Renovate his bedroom. (Well, technically renovate his and Yugi's room, but his aibou should like the result. He'd spend a couple hours last night drawing up plans.)

Who knew architecture lessons would come in so handy?

As he stepped into the store, a clerk, still slightly sleepy, met him. "Can I help you, sir?"

"Yes." Atem handed the young man a second list, this one carefully written in Japanese - unlike the first one, which was in a dialect of Egyptian long vanished. "I need the items on here, please."

"What are you doing?" the clerk asked, eyes widening as he scanned it over. "Renovating the house?"

"Just a few improvements." Atem shrugged. "Send them to the address at the bottom of the list, would you? I'll pay for them before I go."

"Yes sir." The boy was off like a shot. Atem nodded, impressed. You didn't see that kind of service much anymore.

He wandered the store, looking for anything that might catch his interest, particularly in decorating. With no idea what was available, he hadn't been able to plan much. As he walked down an aisle filled with plants, a TV screen caught his eye. It was demonstrating something called a 'dremmal tool', which was being used to cut designs into the wall. The Pharaoh smiled slightly to himself. What a wonderful idea, and so much faster than a hammer and chisel.

"Is there anything else I can do to help?" It was his clerk again.

"Yes. I would like one of these, as well." He gestured to the TV.

"Would you like all the attachments?"

"Of course."

…………… Several Hours Later …………………...............................................

Atem frowned at the ripped up pieces of carpet from the living room floor, then at the clock. He was hot, sweating and sticky - skin-tight leather was not the best thing to wear while doing this sort of work - and it was taking far too long, even with all these lovely modern tools. He only had five days before Yugi was due back, and he wanted everything to be perfect for his hikari. He needed some help, but he also wanted it to be a surprise. Not to mention that all of his friends were on the school trip as well, except for Seto and Mokuba - and somehow he didn't think that they would be interested.

Sighing, he scratched the back of his head while he thought. Where would he get enough hands to help him finish all of this before Yugi got home?

As he brought his hand down, it brushed the belt that carried his Magic and Wizards deck.

The Pharaoh smiled.

……………………………….............................................................................

Atem looked sternly at the motley assortment of creatures around him. "Now listen closely.' he ordered.

He held up a small object. "This is a plug…"

………………………………..............................................................................

"You need to hold this carefully; use a smooth back and forth motion across the wall so the paint goes on evenly, okay?" Atem handed the tool over.

Neo the Magic Swordsman looked at the paint sprayer, then at his master, and nodded. Putting on the 'safety goggles' and apron that his master insisted he wear, the Duelmonster turned to his assigned task.

Seeing that he understood, Atem left him and walked briskly into the kitchen. Maahado and the Celtic Guardian were on their knees, carefully installing the hot-water thermal floor heating system. The Dark Sage floated cross-legged over them, supervising. Both were also wearing work belts and goggles.

"How is everything?"

"Going well, Master." the ancient mage answered. "This should be done by sunset."

"Alright." Atem casually banished the discarded pieces of flooring to the shadows and continued on. Outside, the new porch was beginning to take shape. Atem had cast a shadow-illusion spell over the game shop so that no one would see the Duelmonsters; no sense freaking out the neighbours.

Joey's Red-eyes and his own Curse of Dragon were carting lumber over to the location of the new porch, while Maha Vilo oversaw both them and the marble edging being cut by the Magician of Black Chaos, who was still having a little trouble with the water-saw.

"Master, it would be easier to use my magic." he commented as Atem walked over.

"Maybe, but I need a smooth edge on this - you can't just blast it away."

"Dang..."

Despite the time it had taken to train his workforce - most of yesterday - Atem was quite happy with the results. He should be able to get everything done in record time.

The Pharaoh stretched, pulling up a strap that threatened to fall down. He had raided Jii-chan's closet that morning, and now wore a loose pair of denim overalls with a tight black T-shirt and a carpenter's belt overall. His deck nestled snugly in one pocket while several tools hung from various loops. His hair was tied back in a ponytail and covered with a baseball cap, on backwards so the brim wouldn't catch.

Satisfied that everthing was on schedule, he walked back inside and upstairs to Yugi's room, picking up a sledgehammer along the way.

A moment of concentration, and all the furniture was in the Shadow Realm. He walked over to the wall between his and this room, contemplating it with a quiet smirk, sledgehammer over one shoulder, power saw in the other hand. Some things one had to do for oneself.

The smirk never left his features as he placed the saw on the ground, took the sledge in both hands, and slammed it into the wall.

….…………………………........................................................

Things didn't go quite so smoothly on the third day. Atem looked over his list of things to do - the adjustments to his and Yugi's rooms - now room - had begun nicely. Neo refused to be parted from the paint sprayer, so he and Mana the Dark Magician Girl in there now, redecorating. Celtic Guardian and Dark Magician had moved onto installing the marble in the kitchen, while everyone else was concentrating on the new porch.

_CRASH!_

Atem jerked at the sound from outside, almost falling off his perch on the banister. He ran outside, to find that the base for the deck had collapsed, ripping some of the siding right off the house.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"Well, you see, Curse of Dragon flew up some floor boards but tried to perch on the deck and, well, he was just a little too heavy…" Maha Vilo explained sheepishly.

Atem winced.

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Once that little problem had been solved, he went back to his originally planned job. He pulled out a neat little toy he'd spotted in the hardware store - a laser level - and slapped it on the hallway wall, a little over head height. Then he dug out the dremmel tool and attached a small bit. That done, he climbed up on a small stepladder, turned on the power, and began to write.

It was exacting work, but _so _much faster than a hammer and chisel for carving hieroglyphics on the wall. And _fun_!

He was halfway through the story of Yugi's Jiichan finding the Puzzle in Atem's old tomb - and trying to remember the symbol for 'nincompoop' - when a second crash shook the house. This one had been higher up and closer.

He set the tool down and sprinted outside; his horrified gaze found Red-Eyes Black Dragon with one foot through the roof and an armful of timbers. As the Pharaoh watched, the wood slipped from the dragon's grasp and landed on the roof with a splintering detonation. Atem buried his head in his hands and swore creatively in several languages. Nothelping, _not_ helping…

Must restrain urge to strangle…

Whipping out the card, he recalled the monster. As it vanished in a flash of light, he walked over to Maha Vilo. "Well?" he demanded in a cold voice that made all the monsters wince.

"He couldn't land on the deck, so he thought that maybe the roof would hold him. He managed the first load, but the second…"

Gods, the damned porch was going to take _forever _at this rate. Thank Ra he didn't _need_ the cards to summon. With a moment's concentration and a flick of his wrist, he called Time Wizard into being.

"I need this place taken back about fifteen minutes." Atem commanded shortly. "Don't give me the time roulette routine. Just do it."

"Yes, Master." The wizard heard the lack of patience in the Pharaoh's voice and meekly did as he was bid. As they watched, the hole in the roof repaired itself and the Red Eyes appeared again, just about to take off.

"Hold it." Atem stopped the disaster before it could occur again. "Maha Vilo, get the Mystical Elf to levitate the stuff up there or something. And _don't mess up again_." The words were distinct, clearly pronounced.

He turned, the set of his shoulders still stiff, walking back into the house. The Duelmonsters all sighed collectively in relief.

Atem paused at the door, looking back at them..

They tensed.

"And this time keep the dragons off the roof!"

…………………….……….....................................................................

That's it for this chapter.

Next chapter: Yugi comes home a day early to surprise his other…


	3. Yugi Comes Home

Well, people see to like this little story, so here's part 3.

Replies:

Motherchowgoddess: Funny you should mention the plumbing…

Thief King Kura: Funny you should mention the swearing… ;)

Kikoken: You think Atem's in deep caca now…wait until the Visa bill comes in.

Purpledragon: Cheaper, yes. And Yugi's reaction will be in this chapter.

Arrthir: All over the hallways. Here's Yugi's reaction!

I'mSonicCrazy: Yami wouldn't send me to she Shadow Realm, would you Yami?  
Yami: Depends on what Yugi does to me this chapter.  
Oh. Well, in that case…bye! runs

Chibi Neesan: Thanks! I love it when people tell me I'm on a favourite's list! does little dance

NeoNicole76: I watch that show too, but I prefer In A Fix…James is just so yummy.

Paladin Dragon: Another puts me on fav list! Arigato! does another little dance

Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh.

Yami SSF: and if she did, the characters probably would have disowned her by now.

thoughts

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Home Improvement

Chapter 3 - Yugi Comes Home.

It was just coming onto sunset when Yugi walked up to the Kame Game Shop, standing alone on the corner. Everything seemed quiet; Yugi hoped that Atem hadn't been bored during the past week.

He hefted his backpack a little higher on his shoulder and sighed. He'd wanted to surprise his other, so he'd arranged with Grandpa to come home the night before. Atem liked to stay up late, so he had no doubt the former Pharaoh would still be awake. A tired smile graced his features as he imagined Atem's reaction.

Yugi drew closer to the back door of his home; an odd tingling sensation ran over him as he stepped off the sidewalk. He looked up. His eyes grew wide as his jaw dropped slowly agape. His bag hit the ground with a soft thump.

"What the…?"

Somehow the Kame Game Shop had sprouted a massive wooden porch which wrapped around the entire back half of the building, elaborately buttressed. It was currently swarming with Duelmonsters.

"KUU!" The unexpected sound made Yugi jump backwards. A brown streak flew by, followed by a much larger black blur cursing in an unknown language.

Yugi blinked. Did I just see Kuriboh on a power sander being chased by the Magician of Black Chaos?

Slowly, careful to avoid everything, Yugi made his way through the chaos and into the back door. The kitchen was blessedly free of monsters - but as he kicked off his shoes and put on his slippers, he noticed the floor had an odd, different gleam. Crouching down he ran his fingers over the tiles - marble, but nicely warm. A quick glance around the room revealed the new kitchen taps.

Atem, what the hell have you been doing? he thought. A brush of magic from the Puzzle revealed that his dark half was upstairs in the bathroom. He turned and headed through the living room towards the stairs.

And stopped. And turned. What the hell?

The living room, which had been a plain white with rather bland dark brown furnishings, was now painted a warm butter yellow. The furniture was black, and mock poles carved with climbing ivy adorned the corners. The ivy theme continued along the baseboards of the walls and around the windows. The coffee table had been stripped and re-varnished in mahogany. And the carpet was gone entirely; hardwood now gleamed in it's place, a deep black-brown.

"You've been busy." he said aloud. The staircase continued the theme, hardwood, though the walls faded from butter to sandstone as they narrowed into the hallway. Yugi walked up quietly, his slippers making little pattering noises on the wood. When he reached the top he almost lost his jaw again.

Both sides of the hallway. Running from the top of the wall halfway to the floor.

Jii-chan is going to have a heart attack.

Yugi stared at the hieroglyphics. They had not been merely painted on - they were carved into the gyprock walls, and each symbol painted black. On either end were elaborate cartouches and here and there were stylized scenes painted in primary colours. It was beautiful… if this was an Egyptian tomb.

I'm gonna kill him. Yugi shook his head. What the hell was he thinking? You can't just…do that.

Sounds of banging and clanging were coming clearer as he walked along the hall. Jii-chan's door had been carved with a cartouche - he couldn't read the language, but he guessed it was a name-plaque.

Shock and surprise were giving way to irritation. If Atem wanted to re-decorate so badly, why did he wait until both Yugi and Jii-chan were gone? Did he feel a need to sneak around on them?

At the end of the hall, where it branched out to lead left and right, Yugi blinked at an anomaly. The door to Atem's room was gone. Not even a blank spot on the wall, just gone, leaving only two doors - the bathroom on the right, and the bedroom on the left. A strange whirring noise could be heard coming from his room, and a horrible thought ran through his mind. Atem, what have you done?

He ran down the hall and pulled his door - also cartouche decorated, though with two different ones - wide open.

"Where the hell is all my stuff!" he screamed.

The room was almost unrecognizable. The walls were now a deep sandy brown, fading to pale beige near the windows. A new door led to the balcony. It was half again as wide; where the wall had been was an arch from which hung layers of gauzy curtains. The whirring noise was from Dark Magician installing a curtain rod. He now stared at his second master, drill still poised.

"Hikari no Yugi-sensei?" The Duelmonster paused for a moment in thought. "You're early."

"And your master is gonna be late real soon." Yugi snapped. No sign of beds, not a trace of his posters, or his games, or any of his stuff. He couldn't even see the blasted closet! He stalked out the room, slamming the door behind him. I'm not gonna kill him…I'm gonna hand him over to Yami Bakura! Wrapped in big red bow!

The bathroom, when he listened at the door, seething, was almost quiet, except for cursing in Egyptian. Yugi smiled an evil smirk and eased the door open.

Sure enough, the room was nearly empty. It too had undergone extensive refitting, but Yugi was more interested in the source of the cursing. It appeared his yami was quite busy; all he could see was his denim-clad butt. The rest was lost in the massive dark blue Jacuzzi-bath he was evidently installing.

Moving silently enough to make Strike Ninja jealous, he slipped up behind the Pharaoh, whose cursing had grown louder. He waited until his dark paused for breath, then…

"ATEM!!"

"YEEEAAA!" Yugi watched with great satisfaction as the other jerked, lost his balance, and landed face-first in the tub, smeared with caulking. Narrow violet eyes blinked in confusion as he spun on the slippery fiberglass to stare at the source of the noise.

"Aibou!"

"Hello, mou hitori no boku." Yugi made his voice a gentle as he could.

"You're early!" Atem managed to gather his wits together. "I wasn't expecting you tonight."

"Evidently." He allowed a touch of sarcasm to enter his tone. He scowled at Atem, who blinked.

"Is something wrong, aibou?"

"WHERE IS MY STUFF!" he hollered.

"Er…in the Shadow Realm?"

"And what, pray tell, is it doing THERE?!"

"I just moved it so it would be out of the way…"

"Bring it back."

"But our room isn't finished yet…"

Yugi growled. He felt his temper peaking. "OUR room? You…what…why…"

"I'm sorry." Atem looked honestly confused. "I though you would like it."

"AHHHHH!" Yugi screamed. "Of all the stupid, hair-brained, witless baka…Do you know how much this is going to cost! And Jii-chan is going to spazz! We are both going to be grounded until we're thirty!"

He stopped, catching his breath. Seeking a distraction, he looked around. Even he had to admit, Atem had good taste. Then he noticed something…

"Atem?"

"Yes…Yugi?" his yami sounded uncertain.

"Where is the toilet?"

Atem laughed sheepishly. "Well, there's a funny story behind that…"

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That's it folks! Arigato for all the wonderful reviews! Please let me know what you thought of the final chapter…kudasai?


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